Disco- the first sin
It
was his first time and was excited about it. Any first time activity, from our birth till our last breath, entrusts us with a store of excitement.
The excitement masks itself in different forms, happiness, fear, etc and the
mask changes based on the activity and the individual’s values. He couldn’t
decide which mask of excitement had engulfed him that day, his first time to a
disco club. A contemptuous frown concentrated between his eyebrows at the
thought of alcohol and smoke around him in disco club. A fear chilled his spine at
the imagination of encountering any of his or dad’s friends. What would he
answer if they ask “hey Mohan, what are you doing here?”
He had
watched movies and had thought about disco as a cultural flaw, an exhibition of
human weakness, an act of taking a step back in the hard earned civilization.
Yet, he was waiting for the sun to sleep and hoping all others he knew to sleep
along with the sun, leaving a set of alien anonymous crowd who don’t bother
about him and themselves when they plunge together into the abyss of disco.
Despite his efforts, he never could rationally analyze what’s so wrong with
disco clubs. It's just an opaque rigid wall in the mind, which stops all the
logical thoughts to a heavy halt in hearing the name ‘disco’ and turn back to
say ‘No, it's wrong’; like it said ‘no’ for smoking and alcohols. Nobody has
ever told what the cultural issue with smoking and alcohol is. No, it’s not due
to health. There are several products which are not good for health, starting
from the adulterated cheese to bread, chips, fruit beverages and what not? But
they were not banished by the cultural purists. Yet, smoking and alcohols were
banned with a ‘No’ label long back, long before they understood the effects of
nicotin and even before they found nicotin in tobacco. They are essentially the
symbols of man’s weakness for pleasure, a weakness which openly challenges the
spiritual advancement of human beings to oneness, which is often referred as god.
Disco clubs enjoys similar and even worse treatment when compared to other
weaknesses; as it provides almost everything that are advised to be kept at a
distance.
So, it is natural for anyone like Mohan, born and brought up in a culturally
conservative family to close his eyes and ears, and more importantly mind from
several things in the society, with disco among the top few things. The present
world would be a heaven if everyone follows what is known to them or taught to
them as right. No mind is tougher than its weak moment and it gives up under
pressure to pleasure, only to lament later 'Why I did that?'. Such weak moments
are unfortunately not rare and occur every day, like we break our diet
resolutions the moment we encounter a bakery. However, few weak moments are
stronger and wilder like the big tides washing away the sand homes of faith
built ashore. Mohan was sucked in one such weak moment, which took him for a
toss in its whirlpool. How else could he have agreed to Philip when he persuaded
to join him to a disco? The beauty of the weak moment is that they are
momentary, yet it pushes us into a world of illusion or curse that we realize
it only after our action, however long it may take. Philip brooded over the
idea of disco in the first half of the day. But Mohan didn’t think whether it
is right or wrong according to his moral values, until he came out of the disco
that night. The only thought that had occupied his mind was 'Disco, Disco!!'
and he was desperately waiting for the evening during the first hour in the
class room. Our mother earth started teasing him by revolving slowly; it seemed
a second was longer than a second and it appeared as if it took several hours
to cover one hour in clock. As the dusk passed, when sodium vapour lamps
compensated the daylight, Mohan was doubly excited about the approaching
significant event in his life. He walked out of the gent's room after a clean
shave, dissatisfied, he shaved again. He was generous with the after shave
lotion to ensure that he gains a dashing shiny chin as they show in
commercials. He wore his favourite light blue shirt and a matching
‘John-Miller’ navy-blue trouser. The only leather shoes of his underwent a
double coat of polishes and sparkled when his friend's shine-x was lavishly
applied. When a thin film of 'cuticura' talc was gently spread over his coarse
face and armpits, Mohan, satisfied with his rituals took extra care not to
sweat and started fanning himself with whatever he got. But his tension was so
fierce that his body fluids fought their way through his skin pores and his
hanky was half wet. Philip entered his room, “Mohan, what happened? Are you not
coming for disco?”.
“No,
i'm ready, i am waiting for you.
“what?”
He
couldn't appreciate his genuine shock till he entered disco.
“we
are not going for a job interview”, frowned Philip and redecorated Mohan with
his party wear gadgets. Philip swayed a jet of deodorant confined in a
container labelled 'adidas' and exclaimed “Mohan, you still use talcum powder
?”.
"There's
a lot of restriction for disco clubs these days", Philip explained,
"so much debate going on about its impact on culture etc. I don't
understand these lunatics. Disco is about smoking, drinking and dancing with
women. This was there always. During historic days, only royal court and rich
men had this luxury and they employed women slaves for dancing. These days, we
have broken the aristocratic supremacy and have liberated the privileges for
common man. Above that, instead of having slave women, we have given freedom
for equal rights to women. Liberty
“The
premium discos , which are often a part of 5 star hotels allow only pairs and
costs very much. This one is suitable for college students like us; the entry
fee is only Rs.500. You know what, they give two complimentary pints too and
yours is for me, since you don't booze. I don't force people to booze; that's
against my policy”, the good Samaritan Philip continued “I have brought lots of
first-timers to disco. I keep a count and you are 63rd”.
Both
of them entered the dark room, equipped to explode with deafening music. The
loudest music Mohan have ever witnessed was during the annual temple function
in his village where the loud speakers supposedly communicate to anyone within
half a mile. This volume was at least ten times more than those loud speakers
of his village. The whole body of everyone within it was vibrating ; one can
easily dance without much effort. The dark room was filled with clouds of
cigarette smoke, too strong to choke the lungs of a non-smoker like Mohan.
There were tables arranged in two rows, all of them round in shape encircled
with slim chairs for one quadrant and a crescent shaped cushion chair for two
quadrants. The central pathway which branched into blossoms of round tables at
its sides was dashingly lit with multi-coloured twinkling lights. The strange
combination of dazzling bright path and its dark peripherals was strange, yet
synchronized well with our cosmic and philosophical model that light and
darkness co-exist within a same bubble.
Mohan
and Philip merged with the darkness in one of the corner tables. “This is the
best place, you can have a view of entire dancing floor from here”, when Philip
noted, Mohan was awe stuck by Philip's knowledge on minor details. The pints
arrived and Philip's broad smile consumed his large square face. As the bottles
became lighter by losing alcohol, so did Philip by consuming the same. The
divine liquid ceaselessly went inside Philip, however Mohan's interests was not
even faintly linked with alcohol. He came there to experience the fantasy world
filled with glamorous women, which, to him had always existed only behind the
silver screen. He was impatient when the bar was still occupied by him, Philip
and their empty bottles. As the clock stuck eleven, two men came inside, and
soon more men stuffed in the dark room. More bottles moved in the thick smoke
blanket. With time, the fluid had its magic effect and people started dancing.
Still the bar was packed with men. Mohan grew impatient and turned to Philip,
“are you sure you have brought me to disco, this looks like a gay club”. Philip
laughed as if it was a great joke , nodded his head and turned to the waiter to
order one more round of whisky.
It
was one hour since they came and Mohan finished two plates of excessively
salted peanuts, a diet Pepsi and five glasses of water with ice. It was very
difficult to pass time. Mohan was disappointed to see more and more men around;
ugly, dark men with protruded belly filled with chilled beer, stone faced men
devoid of any emotions except contempt and men who are disappointed without any
women around. Mohan was trapped within a dark cell of men and was genuinely
irritated with Philip for bringing him there. But, Philip was peaceful with his
bottles and its fluids. His tranquility at that moment amidst the loudest music
and ugly men amazed Mohan.
At around 11:55 PM, when Mohan went for his eighth round of plain water, a jet
of fresh air gushed in near the door as it was ajar. The fresh air sneaked
through the doors had its lung full of thick perfume announcing the arrival of
much awaited womenfolk. A gang of four ladies paraded into the dark sanctum
where mortals transform to divinity by consuming elixir. One of them wore a
black tight t-shirt and a mini-skirt, the black colour merged with the darkness
of the chamber. All of them were in high pointed heels creating an illusion of
floating in the smoky cloud like angels. Despite their knowing that they are
being watched by lustful eyes, they carried themselves a casual charisma
expressing their indifference to the rest.
Ignoring Mohan's exposure to virtual silver screens, that was the first time he
saw ladies smoking and drinking. The bartender whose cold stare intensified
with his glasses of cold water showed a reverse trend with those ladies, for he
conversed with animation, laughed easily and suggested new cocktails to those
Barbie dolls in flesh and blood. Their presence had altered the equilibrium of
the bar, with people entering the dance floor portraying their clown-like dance
moves. Soon, very soon the sex-ratio got altered when few more women entered
the bar. The alcohol loosened their stiffness and they soon decorated the dance
floor. Their dance moves, though incoherent like the other men around, had an
attraction and grace. With their dance moves, they drove away the laziness
which had still then stuck with the people around like mosses on wet rocks.
Along with, they also drove away the contempt and irritation of landing up
there, especially a girl in a sleeveless yellow tops and black jeans attracted
lot of people's attention.
Mohan's eyes were glued to the dance floor, trying to absorb as much for future
memories. He was too shy to go there and kept looking at how easily others
approached the ladies, bought them drinks and took them for a dance. When he
went to toilet, he accidentally bumped over the yellow topped beauty pumping
his adrenalin in full power. In the next ten minutes, he visited the toilet
several times placing himself in strategic locations for potential accidents,
though nothing happened after that.
When Philip called Mohan for the dance floor, he was excited; excited that his
fantasies were finally coming true. Even amidst the mixed emotions, he didn't
fail to thank Philip for bringing him there. Philip dragged him to the centre
of the dance floor and started dancing. But Philip didn't pick any of those
girls, didn't even go near them, worse than that, he didn't allow either Mohan
to go near them. He started teaching Mohan how to dance. Though Mohan didn't
appreciate the idea of dancing away from the crowd, with lot of ladies behind,
he didn't want to disappoint Philip and complied to Philip and his movements.
But he went on and on and Mohan whispered, “we shall go near the girls”. He
frowned, “common Mohan, we are not here for them. We will dance”.
“What?
Dance?, well , if we need to dance, we can do it in our hostel, I need not come
here to learn dancing”, shouted Mohan overcoming the screaming DJ's
music. Philip started laughing at his desperation, at his weakness; when
Mohan left him with irritation. He then marched to the dance floor and started
dancing with fierce random body movements in front of a girl. She smiled and
moved away to another guy, who bent and whispered something into her ears
before they settled to a corner. He then went to the next lady; but she was
already dancing with a guy. He stood near them and danced for a while.
Receiving no attention, he went to the next girl. He imagined that Philip would
be laughing at his actions, but he was angry at him and didn't care to look
towards his side. The girls, old & young, dark & fair, slim & plump
were there in plenty, yet no one paid any attention to Mohan. As time passed
by, the men around formed couples and started leaving slowly; Mohan became
inert to the lack of attention he received.
He
went to the bartender, asked for a glass of plain water with ice and came back
to Philip's table. Philip's eyes were closed, and his face bore a divine
serenity. His sweat spread over his face and glistened in the tiny flame of a
lighter in the next table. They left the bar soon. When they came out, one of
the couples they saw inside was returning. Mohan , visibly upset told Philip
that he couldn't impress even a single girl. Philip turned calmly, exhaled the
puff his lungs had temporarily borrowed from his cigarette and said, "You
know Mohan, not a single girl turned here today is worth pursuing. All of them
are hookers".
"What????"
"Who
else do you think will come to such disco clubs? most of the clubs allow only
couples, and real couples will go only there. Only hookers come here to win their
customers."
"you
mean, those girls with red tops, black tops , the fat girl- all of them ???
"
"Well,
let me not disappoint you . Very few of them are not. Few college girls who
can't afford their alcohol also come here. But the whole of today's crowd belong
to the first category and they got their customers easily."
Suddenly,
Mohan felt it so disgusting. It dawned to him that no wonder discos are
considered bad. It's a gateway to decadence of our own moral values. The guild
feeling of voluntarily jumping into abyss churned his stomach and he started
sweating profusely.
"You
brought me to prostitutes", Mohan's words were sharp with frustration.
Finishing
his last puff, Philip replied casually "Not exactly, I brought you to disco,
where they too come". His smile was intense and to Mohan, he appeared so
ugly like a satan who dragged him into the quicksand of evil. Mohan's pace
slowed with shock.
The
night was troublesome. He couldn’t sleep well, his heart was burning
constantly; two bottles of cold water was gulped in feverishly. Despite his
mental restlessness, he was too tired and after a struggle between his mind and
body, he somehow slept. But he couldn’t sleep well, his dreams haunted him
teasing for his loss of morals by walking into the disco. He woke up startled ,
wept for a while and then slept again. The cultural shock he was subjected to
was too intense for his gentle mind to handle.
He
wept for the whole sunday, even skipped the fried rice, the only worthy food of
the hostel. But, one day was too long for any information to pass through the
transparent ears of his hostel mates and by sunday evening his adventure was
known to all.
As
he entered his classroom monday morning, Anand, Gokul, Abhijit, yusuf and
many other greeted, "hey Mohan, welcome to our disco group". But the
bolt from the blue was when Raghavendra, the pious, gentle and topper of the
class told him "next week, you come to my area, that’s better."
Mohan
was surprised and angry; surprised to know that there are actually so many
regulars and angry that no one ever told him. He just smiled and avoided the
crowd. That night's sleep was again disturbing; his dream was about a debate
between two Mohans arguing the positives and negatives of disco. Unlike the
previous night, the new Mohan of his dream was justifying disco with new
vigour. Next day, he went to Ragavendra, "isn't wrong?”
Ragavendra
smiled, "Mohan, there's no absolute right or wrong. Every moral rule is
defined by the standards of the then society. Our society has changed greatly
and the rules you define are outdated. If you think this is wrong, then
quitting dhoti to trousers, quitting 'paatshaala' to colleges and every similar
occurrence is wrong. Don't confuse yourself. The only rule is the purity
of your heart. "
Mohan
felt refreshed in the new age philosophy casually conceived by Ragavendra. Yet,
he was still confused. Wednesday, he met Gokul who said, "If one day visit
to disco can spoil you, then your mind is perverted and is already impure
whether you go there or not." Mohan couldn’t accept the new accusation of
perverted mind and started to yield slowly. By Thursday, he was able to justify
that what he did was not a crime and there is nothing wrong in mere going to a disco.
In fact, people who had never been to one, allowed lavish imaginations and
unnecessarily spread irrelevant moral policing.
Seven
days passed since then when Mohan stood before Anup's room, "Anup, can you
spare your adidas shoes tonight?"
"No
prob dude, by the way, where are you going?"
Mohan
was quick to reply without hesitation, "To disco, with Philip".
P.S: I was inspired to write this on the basis
that anyone who plunges himself into practices or habits which he/ she considers unacceptable, undergoes a tumult based on the original values. However, once a weakness is exposed,
the person and his environment encourage him/her to continue and often justify
the new habit. Slowly the habit just sticks..
